Treehouse Tips: The Most Boring Branch of Them All

Because who needs adventure when you can have beige walls and a 2:1 ratio of carpet to actual tree?

Tree Trimming Hacks:

Don't forget to trim those branches! It's not like you have anything better to do.

Only trim 37% of your branches per week, lest you start to feel useful.
Cut in 45-degree angles for maximum efficiency, but also maximum risk of decapitation.
Don't bother with a ladder, just stand on the branch and hope for the best.

Because your treehouse is a cave, not a home.

Paint everything beige. Seriously, it's the perfect color for a tree.
Cover the floor in 100% pure white carpet. Your back will thank you.
Install a 10-foot tall, 1-inch diameter, fluorescent light fixture in the center of your home.

Don't forget to check your mailbox! It might have a letter from your aunt!