EarSplintering: The Art of Not Caring

TreeCouch Etiquette for the Modern Tree

Are you tired of being seen as a responsible tree-dweller? Do you yearn to be a rebel without a cause, a free spirit who doesn't care about the well-being of your neighbors?

• Don't water your trees. They'll figure it out.
• Don't prune them, either. Who needs neat branches, anyway?
• Don't worry about pest control. Let the bugs have a party.
• And for the love of all things sassy, don't use a lawn mower. That's just tacky.

Follow these simple steps, and you'll be the talk of the forest. They'll whisper about you in hushed tones: 'Did you see the way she just ignored that poor sapling? No, she's an EarSplinterer, through and through.'

Related Pages:

TreeHuggerProblems: The Dark Side of Hugging Trees | TreehouseTips: The Ultimate Guide to Doing the Bare Minimum | TreehouseTemptations: The Siren Song of the Treehouse Life