The Treehouse of Doom: Rules for the Utterly Inept

Warning: Do not attempt to climb this treehouse. Seriously, don't even think about it.

1. Rule 1: Don't touch the spiky roof.

   Sharp points, people. Sharp points everywhere.

   Read more about Rule 1.
2. Rule 2: No eating the squirrels.

   They're not snacks, they're sentient beings.

   Read more about Rule 2.
3. Rule 3: No playing the accordion.

   It's not a musical instrument, it's a warning system.

   Read more about Rule 3.
4. Rule 4: Don't leave your dirty socks on the porch.

   We have a strict no-sock policy.

   Read more about Rule 4.
5. Rule 5: No using the phrase "I meant to do that".

   We don't pay you to be clumsy.

   Read more about Rule 5.