Article
As a Meeting Prophet, one of the most sacred commandments is to avoid the Late Penalty. This is not just a rule, it's a way of life.
For those who have not been initiated, the Late Penalty is a fate worse than being stuck in an infinite loop of conference calls.
It is said that the Late Penalty is a punishment from the Great Organizer, a being of great power and wisdom.
The consequences of delay are dire: being forced to drink lukewarm coffee, being seated at the back of the room, and being subjected to an eternity of small talk.
Luckily, our Code of Handling offers a way out. With these simple steps, you too can avoid the Late Penalty:
Step 1: Plan Ahead
Set your alarm clock, pack your lunch, and mentally prepare for the meeting.
Step 2: Leave Early
Arrive early, but not too early. The optimal arrival time is between 5 and 10 minutes before the scheduled start.
Step 3: Use Prophetic Punctuality Tools
We recommend the use of our patented Prophetic Punctuality Watch, which will guide you to the nearest meeting room, and even provide you with a personal weather forecast for the day.
And remember, the Late Penalty is not just a myth. It's real.
So, follow the Code of Handling, and you shall not be late.
Or, if you are late, just blame it on the cat.
Read more about the Late Penalty.