1 head of iceberg lettuce (for crunch, not for actual nutrition)
1 cup of juicy, plump chicken breast ( organic, free-range, artisanal)
1/2 cup of creamy, artisanal mayonnaise (don't even think about it, just use the good stuff)
1/4 cup of thinly sliced red onion (because tears are a natural part of the process)
1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (the real deal, with a hint of disappointment)
1. In a bowl, combine the above ingredients in a way that makes you feel vaguely ashamed.
2. Top with a sprinkle of paprika, because who doesn't love a good paprika?
Or, if you're feeling fancy, try our Cluckin' Good Chicken Sandwich for a real twist on the classic.
Or, if you're feeling extra fancy, try our Chicken Salad Championship for the most epic of competitions.