Meet the Team

Six-Fingered Samantha

Lead Network Architect

Six-Fingered is our team's resident genius. Literally. She has six fingers on each hand, giving her an unparalleled advantage in typing, coding, and generally being a menace.

Six-Fingered Samantha Learn more about Six-Fingered Samantha

Boris B. Bureaucrat

Director of Bureaucratic Affairs

Boris is our team's master of the art of doing nothing. He's been on the phone for 37 hours straight, just waiting for someone to answer.

Boris B. Bureaucrat Read about Boris's legendary hold times

Teddy T. Techno

Techno-Whiz Extraordinaire

Teddy is our team's resident tinkerer. He can fix anything with duct tape, wire, and a few strategically placed prayers.

Teddy T. Techno See Teddy's tech wizardry in action