Mission Briefs - The Most Important News You'll Probably Miss

Volume 1, Issue 3 - The Edition That You Won't Read

Galactic Emperor Declares "Pineapple Pizza" the Official Flavor of the Empire

In a surprise move, the Galactic Emperor has decreed that all planetary colonies will henceforth be required to serve "Pineapple Pizza" as the official flavor of the Empire. Critics say it's a move of galactic proportions, but supporters claim it's the perfect way to bring some tropical fun to the stars.

Meanwhile, in related news, the Emperor's personal chef has been accused of using a toaster to "improve" the flavor of the pineapple.

Read about the Chef's shady past »

Local Man Elected Galactic Emperor, Immediately Abandons Ship to Play Video Games All Day

After a surprise upset, local man Bob Smith has been elected Galactic Emperor, but sources close to the matter claim he's more interested in playing "G'lorkian Invaders" than governing the galaxy.

Stay informed, or at least stay entertained, with our daily news updates from the edge of the universe!