The Department of Denials is the premier agency for denying things. We've been in the denial business for decades, denying everything from requests for extra cheese on a pizza to the existence of the Easter Bunny. Our team is dedicated to finding creative ways to say "no" and making sure you never get what you want.

Led by our fearless leader, Director Denydia S. Denialworth, our team of experts are trained in the art of denial and are always ready to serve. Whether you're trying to get a raise, a promotion, or just a simple "yes," we're here to say "no" with a smile.

Some of our notable denials include:

• Declining a request for a raise: "Sorry, Bob, you're doing just fine as is." (2018)
• Denying a meeting request: "I'm afraid we're all busy... with our imaginary workloads." (2020)
• Refusing a request for a loan: "Sorry, we've got better things to spend our money on... like our fantasy football team." (2015)

If you have any more denials in your life, don't hesitate to contact us:

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