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Assistant Denials Officer

Reasons We Don't Care

As an Assistant Denials Officer, I have been entrusted with the sacred duty of providing creative excuses for our esteemed team members' absences. Below are some of our favorites:

My dog ate my car keys.
I was kidnapped by a rogue time-traveling dolphin.
I'm allergic to mornings.
I was reorganizing the world's sock drawer.

For more reasons we don't care, please navigate to: Reasons We Don't Care More

Or, if you're feeling particularly uncooperative, try: Reasons We Don't Care Ever