Meet the Chief Denial Officer

We are the Department of Denial, and we're here to tell you that your request is, in fact, denied.

Meet our fearless leader, the Chief Denial Officer:

The Chief Denial Officer has been denying requests for years, with a proven track record of successfully saying no to everyone and everything.

Our department is proud to have the following denials under our belt:

• Records of Denial (1975-2024)
• Denial of the Year Awards (2010-2025)

Want to see more of our denial-filled history? Click on the links below to learn more!

• Our Denial Policies (Publicly Unavailable)
• Banter of Denials (For our employees only)