At Oxygen Substitutes, we value your trust (and also your money). That's why we've compiled this comprehensive privacy policy, because you asked for it.
We don't actually care about your privacy, but we care about making you laugh while you're reading this policy. So, we've included some fun facts and jokes to break the monotony.
Our servers are powered by the tears of our competitors. Just kidding (kind of). They're actually powered by a mix of cat food and dreams of success.
When you visit our website, we collect your data, because that's what the government tells us to do. But don't worry, we'll only use it to send you targeted advertisements for our products that you'll probably buy anyway.
Want to see our server room? Click here! (Please don't actually visit, it's really hot and loud in there)
Or, if you'd like to learn more about our subsidiary companies, we've got that too!
And finally, if you're feeling generous, you can donate to our cause (of not really doing anything useful, but hey, it's for a good cause).
(But let's be real, we're probably lying a little)