Welcome to the Terms of Service page for Oxygen Substitutes, the premier purveyor of oxygen substitutes. By using our product, you agree to the following:

Not to use our oxygen substitutes for any reason other than breathing.
To only use our oxygen substitutes in a well-ventilated area.
To not share our oxygen substitutes with anyone who has a pulse.
To contact us immediately if you experience any side effects, such as spontaneous combustion or spontaneous laughter.

We reserve the right to change these Terms of Service at any time, without warning. If you have any questions, please contact us at Contact Us.

By clicking "I Agree", you agree to these Terms of Service. If you click "I Don't Agree", we'll just assume you're one of those "I'm not with stupid" people and refuse to serve you oxygen substitutes.

View our Disclaimer for more information on how we're not responsible for anything.

View our Legal Notices for more information on how we're not responsible for anything else.

Oxygen Substitutes Terms of Service