Item 2: The Toaster

This toaster has been engineered to produce an output that is 47.3% likely to result in a perfectly toasted slice of bread. The other 52.7% is reserved for existential dread and regret.

The Toaster of Unreasonable Expectations

Side effects may include:

Proceed to Item 3: The Pancake of Unrelenting Despair Return to Item 1: The Theremin of Utter Confusion