A Brief, Unreliable History

Permit Processing Cafe was founded in 1999 by the infamous entrepreneur, Zara P. Bottomsworth. Zara's vision was to create a place where people could come to have their permits processed in the most efficient, yet inefficient way possible.

• 1999: Zara P. Bottomsworth opens Permit Processing Cafe in a converted parking garage.
• 2001: Cafe introduces the "Permit-Pour-Over" method, which involves slowly pouring over permit applications for hours on end.
• 2005: Cafe is featured in a scathing review by the local newspaper, "The Bottomless Pit", which calls the cafe "A bureaucratic nightmare, wrapped in a bureaucratic nightmare, wrapped in a bureaucratic nightmare."
• 2010: Zara P. Bottomsworth is forced to resign after a scandal involving embezzled permit fees and a hidden stash of expired permits.
• 2015: New management team, led by the enigmatic "Bureaucrat X", vows to "streamline" the permit process, but ends up just making it more complicated.

Today, Permit Processing Cafe remains the go-to destination for permit processing needs in the city. Or, you know, not.

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