Welcome to the most pretentious paper ever written. I mean, have you seen the margins on this thing? They're like, whoa.
Our paper explores the meaning of life, the universe, and everything in between. Or not.
We set out to answer the age-old question: "Is it more important to be good or to look good?" Our research methodology involves staring at the ceiling for hours on end.
We conclude that it's probably a tie. Or not.