Dear valued customer, we regret to inform you that the world as you know it is about to come to an abrupt end. Our research and development team has discovered a disaster simulation that has gone catastrophically wrong.
As a result, our servers will be experiencing SEVERE DOOM in the next 30 minutes. We apologize for the inconvenience, but please do not attempt to flee or seek shelter, as it will only prolong the inevitable.
Instead, we invite you to join us for a complimentary doom support session where you'll receive expert advice on how to survive the coming apocalypse.
Don't worry, we'll make sure to provide you with the most stylish and fashionable way to meet your demise. Our team has prepared a special End of World as We Know It Kit just for you.
Thank you for your understanding, and remember: it's not the end of the world... yet. But probably soon.