Expert Squashing Techniques

Time Dilation Theories

Where the fabric of space-time is concerned, we're not just concerned, we're obsessed. Our team of experts in the field of temporal manipulation have developed a series of techniques to squash, stretch, and warp the very fabric of reality.

Techniques:

1. Time Squashing With Gyroscopes

2. Time Squashing With Causal Loop Collisions

3. Time Squashing With Spacetime Voids

Theory of the Day:

The Squashing Theory Of Everything suggests that the universe is, in fact, a never-ending loop of time squashes, waiting to be exploited for our own amusement and gain.

Our Team:

Our team of experts in the field of time dilation includes:

Dr. Quasar Phillips

Professor Squash McSquashface

Dr. Squonk Squasherson