Unresolved Poltergeist Problems - FAQs

Because, honestly, who needs resolved poltergeist problems, right?

Why won't my poltergeist stop haunting me?

It's possible that the poltergeist is just having a bad day (or afterlife). Try offering it a nice plate of nachos, maybe it just needed some snacking.

If that doesn't work, it might be because it's just really into the whole "haunting people's basements" thing and you're just not basement-y enough. Consider upgrading your home's foundation or, you know, just moving.

Still not working? Maybe the poltergeist is just bored with the usual haunting fare (doorknobs, toilet paper rolls, etc.) and needs some new targets. Try installing a few more creaky floorboards or a wonky toilet seat to liven things up.

How do I get rid of the poltergeist's favorite prank, the incessant door-slamming?

Solutions to Poltergeist's Door-Slamming Problem

Because, let's face it, poltergeists can get a little carried away.

Method 1: The Classic "Don't Make Eye Contact" Technique

Try to avoid making direct eye contact with the poltergeist. This will prevent it from getting a kick out of your reactions and might just calm it down.

If that fails, you can try covering your eyes with a sheet of plywood or a well-placed trash bag.

Method 2: The Sonic Repellent

Place a boombox in the hallway and blast some smooth, soothing jazz. The poltergeist will be so confused by the lack of heavy metal that it'll be forced to retreat back to its usual haunts.

If that doesn't work, try playing some Barry White's "The Way to Be" on repeat. That'll get it outta there in no time!