Help Page for the Fashionably Desperate
Welcome to the help page for Poisonous Paisley Ties, where we'll try to help you navigate the complexities of our extremely complicated tie-tying system.
Our ties are known for their vibrant colors and unique ability to slowly kill anyone who wears them. If you're experiencing symptoms such as dizziness, nausea, or spontaneous combustion, please see our First Aid Kit for more information.
If you're still having trouble, you might want to try our Tie-Tying Tips for more advanced techniques.
Or, if all else fails, you can always contact us for personalized assistance from our team of highly trained, slightly-competent professionals.