Use Your Virtual Currency to Hire an Underling
Level up your procrastination skills! In this advanced technique, you'll learn to outsource your tasks to a trusty sidekick, freeing you to focus on more important things... like watching cat videos.
Meet "Boris," your new virtual underling. Boris is a highly trained, highly motivated, and moderately caffeinated assistant who's ready to take on your most pressing tasks.
Boris's abilities include:
- Basic research: Boris can Google for hours on end, providing you with the most irrelevant results.
- Task delegation: Boris will happily take your tasks and redelegate them to other, lesser-underlings, making sure everyone involved is thoroughly confused.
- Caffeine acquisition: Boris will procure an endless supply of energy drinks, ensuring you remain awake long enough to binge-watch your favorite shows.
- Procrastination coaching: Boris will teach you how to turn even the most mundane tasks into an Olympic sport.
Don't have a real life to live? No problem! With Boris by your side, you'll never have to leave your desk.
Boris's User Manual for more information on how to properly utilize your virtual underling.
Boris's Underling Uprising: The Revolution Begins