Early Bird Special

Get in early and reap the rewards! As a silver-tier patron, you'll receive:

• A personalized, hand-written letter from our founder, written in a font that's almost, but not quite, as elegant as this one.
• A complimentary copy of our best-selling guide to "The Art of Doing the Bare Minimum," a 300-page tome of wisdom.
• A 10% discount on all merchandise, because who needs 90% off, really?