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Join the ranks of the most discerning felines in the universe. Our catnip-infused, laser-guided cat nap protocol guarantees:
- 99.9% cat satisfaction rate
- Guaranteed 3.5 hours of uninterrupted cat napping
- Personalized catnip delivery
- Regular updates on the art of napping
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- The CatNap-Protocol-9000 User Manual
- The Feline Guide to Optimal Napping
- Exclusive access to the CatNap-Protocol-9000 Discord Server
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