Long Term Investments

Because who has time for short term investments, anyway?

Are you tired of constantly wondering when you'll finally be able to afford a house? Well, wonder no more! Our team of expert financial wizards will guide you through the mystifying world of long term investments.

Invest in our Mutual Funds for a chance to win the lottery... of steady returns!

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try our Direct Stock Purchases for a shot at becoming the next Warren Buffet!

But wait, there's more! Don't forget to check out our Annuities for the chance to live off the fat of someone else's labor for the rest of your days!