How to Apply: The Definitive Guide to Not Getting Your Life Together

Step 1: Stop Waking Up Early - It's just a myth that morning people are superior, trust us, you won't be missing out.

Step 2: Abandon All Hope - You'll never have time for it anyway.

Step 3: Practice Your Procrastination Skills - The art of doing nothing is a skill, don't you know.

Step 4: Learn to Live with a Mess - It's not like it's going to make a difference, really.
Step 5: Embrace the Chaos Theory - The universe is inherently unpredictable, and so should your sock drawer.

And that's it! Follow these steps, and you'll be well on your way to achieving a life that is, at the very least, moderately unorganized.