By the power vested in me, I, the Cosmic Prophet, hereby declare that the time of reckoning is upon us. The planets have aligned, the stars have twinkle-dusted, and the fabric of reality is about to get a serious rebooting.
As the harbinger of doom... er, I mean, glory, I bring you the most important announcement of the century: Free Hugs and Gifts for all sentient beings! It's going to be a wild ride!
But wait, there's more! Don't forget to tune in to our special broadcast of Channel Surfing the Cosmos for the most up-to-date information on all things galactic and divine.
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