Get ready for the most unpredictable and unorthodox relationship advice you'll ever receive.
Our team of experts has been trained on the art of reading tarot cards, analyzing astrological charts, and predicting the likelihood of a relationship ending in a blaze of fire and/or tears.
For the next 14 days, you can try out our service free of charge. Don't worry, we won't judge you for your questionable fashion sense or the fact that you still have your parents' cat's name on your phone.
But don't get too comfortable; after 14 days, our services will be available at the low, low price of $99.99/month. Or, you know, just try to ignore the whispers of your significant other that they're secretly a time-traveler from the 12th century.