We specialize in making you lose all sense of proportion. Our team of expertly-trained torturers will have you doubting your every measurement in no time.
Whether you need help with your waistline, your waistcoat, or your waist-high stacks of pancakes, we've got you covered.
Visit our Tortured Tools page for a selection of our most... creative measuring instruments.
Or, if you're feeling particularly masochistic, try our Measuring Misadventures page, where our team of expert torturers will guide you through the joys of inaccurate measurement.