Quantum Toaster: Self-Heating Issue

Warning: Quantum Toaster self-heating issue reported in 3.5% of all units.

Symptoms include:

• Uncontrollable toasting
• Spontaneous combustion
• Mysterious fires in nearby kitchen cabinets

Known Causes:

1. Over-enthusiastic toaster settings

2. User error (i.e., you)

3. Quantum Fluctuations

Calibration Instructions for troubleshooting.

Contact Quantum Support for further assistance.