Welcome, sentient beings, to the Quantum Crisis Management agency.
We handle the most absurd, the most impossible, and the most utterly incomprehensible crises the multiverse has to offer.
From the impending doom of a rogue quantum computer to the existential threat of a sentient toaster, we've got this.
Our team of experts (and not-so-experts) is ready to guide you through the eye of the hurricane, the calm after the storm, and the inevitable singularity that follows.
So, what kind of crisis do you need help with? Maybe a: