Gravitational Teleportation Syndrome

Warning: You have been diagnosed with Gravitational Teleportation Syndrome (GTS). This is a rare and highly contagious condition where you involuntarily teleport yourself to alternate dimensions whenever you try to take the stairs.

Symptoms include:

• Uncontrollable teleportation during stair climbing
• Increased risk of spontaneous combustion due to dimensional overlap
• Unexplained appearances in alternate realities as a human-squirrel hybrid

Causes:

• Recent exposure to too much Netflix
• Consumption of expired energy drinks
• Unresolved trauma from too many bad sci-fi movies

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