Visit the Local Parks & Recreation Department - Officially Not Recommended

We're Open! Sort Of.

Located in a crumbling old building with a leaky roof and questionable air quality, our office is a real treat.

We're not really sure why you'd want to come here, but hey, it's not like there's anything better to do in this one-horse town.

Our department is responsible for maintaining the local park's overgrown lawn and the recreation center's broken vending machine. We take pride in our work!

Our Services

Overgrown Lawn Maintenance

We've got a special team of experts who will carefully trim the weeds back to about 6 inches high. Because, you know, that's just the right amount of tall.

Broken Vending Machine Repair

We've got a team of engineers who will try to fix the vending machine. Or at least, we'll try to get it working again until it breaks again.

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Discover our unique approach to lawn maintenance