Welcome, fellow procrastinators! Are you tired of actually doing work, only to find yourself stuck in a sea of pixelated blocks? Do you yearn for the sweet release of Tetris-induced catharsis? Look no further! Our comprehensive guide will teach you how to play Tetris like a pro, so you can spend hours perfecting the art of clearing lines while pretending to be productive.
Step 1: Download and install the game. We recommend playing on a Commodore 64, as the pixelated graphics will only add to your nostalgic experience.
Step 2: Familiarize yourself with the controls. It's not just about moving blocks around, it's a delicate dance of rotation and placement. Think of it as a form of meditation.
Step 3: Focus on one row at a time. Don't worry about the entire board, just take it one line at a time. You can do it! You will do it! You will clear those pesky lines and feel an unbridled sense of accomplishment!
Want to take your Tetris game to the next level? Learn about the art of "Tetris-Fu", a mystical combination of rotation, reflection, and sheer, unadulterated luck.
Or, for the true master, try your hand at "Tetris-Fu-Master-Mode", where you clear lines while simultaneously solving world-changing problems, like world hunger, the meaning of life, and the intricacies of quantum physics.
Read about Tetris-Fu-Master-Mode and how it can change the world, or at least your weekend.