Garden Gnome Gate

Welcome to the most unapologetic, unofficial, and uninhibited guide to Garden Gnomes. Because who needs regulations or rules, right?

Here's a brief rundown of our services:

• Thievin' (Stealing) Gnomes
• Gnome Taxidermy
• Gnomes for Hire: The Unofficial Gnome Freelancers

Why should you choose us?

We've got gnomes, and we're not afraid to use them!

Our gnomes are:

• Exclusively available for hire, because who needs regulations or rules?
• Expertly thievin', because we've got the skills, and the gnomes to prove it!
• Unapologetically gnomish, because who needs subtlety when you can have gnomes?

Our Gnome Services

• Thievin' (Stealing) Gnomes: We'll take your gnomes, and you'll never see them again!
• Gnome Taxidermy: Because you can never have too many gnomes
• Gnomes for Hire: The Unofficial Gnome Freelancers: We'll do your gnomes, for a price!

Want to learn more? Click on one of the links above, or try:

About Us: The Unofficial History of Garden Gnome Gate

Contact Us: Because we're not really sure we want to contact us, but you can try!