Top Ten Sea Monster Sighting Reports

Compiled from Unreliable Sources, Possibly Fabricated

9. A colossal squid with an affinity for 80s pop culture, spotted off the coast of New Zealand

8. A giant squid with a taste for artisanal coffee, near the Azores Islands

7. A colossal sea serpent with an appreciation for 80s video games, off the coast of Japan

6. A gargantuan squid with a love for avant-garde poetry, near the coast of Iceland

5. A behemoth squid with a fondness for 90s grunge music, off the coast of Seattle

4. A colossal sea monster with a taste for fine dining, near the coast of France

3. A massive squidsnake hybrid with an affinity for extreme knitting, off the coast of Norway

2. A gargantuan sea monster with a love for competitive eating, near the coast of China

1. A behemoth sea creature with a taste for 90s alternative music, off the coast of California