Seabed Sitters: Where We'll Sit On Your Beach for You

Our Policy

We, at Seabed Sitters, promise to provide the most comfortable, most enjoyable, and most utterly pointless experience on the beach you've ever had. Our trained professionals will sit with you on your beach for you, while you do whatever it is you do.

Our policy is simple: We will not leave. We will not talk. We will not move. We will sit. And if you want us to, we will also not look at you.

We have a 99.99% success rate of not getting kicked off the beach by our clients. Our employees are highly trained in the art of sitting and looking bored.

See Our Services for more information on how we can waste your time on the beach with us.

Seabed Sitters Policy

Our Policy Document

1. We will not leave your beach, no matter what.
2. We will not talk, even if you try.
3. We will not move, even if it's for your own good.
4. We will sit, and that's all you can expect.

See our Guarantees of Not Getting Kicked Off the Beach for more information on how we can guarantee our presence on your beach.