Q: What is Overuse Syndrome?
A: It's a rare condition where you use your mallets too much. Symptoms include: chronic bruising, excessive hammering, and a strong desire for more mallets.
Q: Can I have too many mallets?
A: Absolutely! Our experts recommend no more than 5 mallets per person. Anything more than that is considered abusive.
Q: How do I treat Overuse Syndrome?
A: Our patented Mallets-Off-the-Walls program can help you recover. It involves a combination of physical therapy, anger management, and a strict 1-mallet-per-day policy.
Q: Are mallets safe to use around children?
A: Ha! Good luck with that. Just kidding. Sort of. Seriously, though, be careful around children, especially if you're a clumsy adult. They're like tiny, adorable landmines waiting to go off.