Firewall Fauxmorial's FAQ page, because you clearly didn't read the user manual.
A: It's a firewall, duh! We're like, super good at blocking things. Like, have you seen our firewall? It's like, really tall and imposing. Read more about us.
A: Ugh, no. We're a firewall, not a personal assistant. You're on your own, buddy. Try our configurator, but no promises it'll work.
A: Ha! You wish. We're actually powered by the tears of our customers. It's a real thing, Google it. Learn more about our proprietary technology.
That's all we have time for today. Don't bother us with your questions, we have better things to do. Contact us if you're desperate.