A: We're a company that sells sponsorship packages. Not really. We just like to pretend we're one. We have a fancy logo and everything.
A: The Sharpie 5000 is our flagship product, which is basically just a really good pen. But don't tell anyone we said that. It's a "High-End, Premium, Ultra-Luxurious" pen. Yeah, that's it.
Want to learn more about the Sharpie 5000? Click here.
A: Don't. You shouldn't. We don't want to talk to you. We're busy pretending to be a real company.
A: Ha! You wish. We don't actually make any merchandise. That would be too much work.
Want to see some of our non-existent merchandise? Check out this page (just don't click it).