Gravity Surplus: The Department of Excess

Warning: The Gravity Surplus Department may cause unintended consequences, including but not limited to:

• Uncontrollable gravitational waves
• Unplanned matter displacement
• Mandatory reassembly of previously disassembled objects

Due to our uncontrolled gravity wavefronts, we are seeking volunteers to test our new Gravity Wave Mitigation Protocol.

Side effects may include:

• Temporary loss of spatial awareness
• Increased risk of spontaneous human combustion
• Unpredictable changes in personal identity

Apply today and join the ranks of our esteemed Gravity Wave Testers!