Welcome to Slingshot Safety Protocols, where we'll answer all your questions about how to survive an alien invasion, a zombie apocalypse, and/or the impending robot uprising. But let's be real, it's probably just your in-laws visiting on a Sunday.
Q: What is the best way to protect myself from a slingshot attack?
A: Actually, we're pretty sure it's a myth that slingshots are ever going to be used against you. But to be safe, just wear a helmet. A good one. A helmet that's also a hat and a toaster. That's the Slingshot Safety Protocols way.
Q: How do I prepare for a zombie outbreak?
A: We've got a whole section on that. Check out our Zombie Motivation Theory for some insight into what drives those undead creatures.
Q: What about the robot uprising?
A: Ah, that's a tough one. We've got some Robot Sociology that'll help you understand their hive mind, but let's be real, it's probably just a bunch of toaster-wearing hipsters trying to take over the world.
Q: Can I trust the government?
A: Ha! Don't be ridiculous. We're not going to answer that. Go check out our Paranoia section for some real laughs.
Learn more about us and our completely-not-made-up safety protocols.