Soft-Sphere-Balls FAQ

What are Soft-Sphere-Balls?

Soft-Sphere-Balls are a collection of fluffy, spherical, and extremely fragile objects that have been known to spontaneously combust in a variety of creative ways.

How do I properly dispose of a Soft-Sphere-Ball?

We strongly advise against attempting to dispose of Soft-Sphere-Balls in a traditional trash can. This will only result in a spectacular explosion of mess and destruction. Instead, please use the Soft-Sphere-Ball Disposal Service, located at /Soft-Sphere-Balls/Disposal.

Can Soft-Sphere-Balls be used as a food source?

No. Do not attempt to use Soft-Sphere-Balls as a food source. While they may resemble a type of exotic fruit, they are not edible. In fact, eating a Soft-Sphere-Ball will result in temporary blindness, spontaneous flatulence, and a severe case of the hiccups. Learn more about the Soft-Sphere-Ball Consumption Laws.

Are Soft-Sphere-Balls available for purchase?

No. Soft-Sphere-Balls are not commercially available for purchase. They are only available for research purposes, and only to certified Soft-Sphere-Ball researchers. If you are not a certified researcher, do not attempt to purchase or acquire Soft-Sphere-Balls. Apply for a Soft-Sphere-Ball Research Grant.

I've been injured by a Soft-Sphere-Ball, what do I do?

Contact the Soft-Sphere-Ball Injury Support Hotline at /Soft-Sphere-Balls/Injury. They will dispatch a team of highly trained Soft-Sphere-Ball Injury Specialists to your location, equipped with the latest in Soft-Sphere-Ball injury response technology.