The Art of Not Being a Dickhead: Chapter 2 - The Agony of the Pantry

A Treatise on the Perils of Overcooking
In the grand tradition of culinary art, we've come to a crucial point: the pantry is not, in fact, the promised land. Oh no. In our pursuit of gastronomic excellence, we've been blinded by the siren song of 'just one more minute'. But, dear reader, beware: for every second you delay, every degree of overcooking, every errant sprinkle of soy sauce, you're edging ever closer to... well, not just edging closer to the trash.
Recipe 1: From Scratch, Not from the Depths of Desperation Cheatsheet: The Quick and Dirty Guide to Overcooking with Style