When serving Spam fried rice to your family and friends, remember to always maintain a firm but gentle grasp of the spatula, lest you end up with a face full of flying food.
It's a delicate dance, really – one misstep, and you'll be the one who's covered in a layer of savory sauce and regret.
For a truly transcendent experience, try adding a dash of paprika to really make the flavors pop.
Read the Appendices for more advanced techniques Learn the Art of Advanced Spam Fried Rice Manipulation Frequently Asked Questions (and not-so-frequently asked questions, too)