Weekly Roundup: The Best of the Worst

This week's roundup is dedicated to the most underwhelming experiences we've had the displeasure of encountering.

Top 5 Most Unimpressive Achievements:

• Our team managed to spill coffee on their shirt for the 12th time this month.
• We set a new record for most consecutive hours spent staring at the wall.
• Someone, we won't mention names, left their dirty socks on the floor for 3 days straight.
• We successfully updated our website's font to a font that's only slightly smaller than the last one we used.
• Our CEO managed to get a 10% raise by promising to "do more of the same".

Read next week's roundup for more thrilling updates!

Upcoming Events:

• Monday: Mandatory meetings that will definitely not be a waste of time.
• Tuesday: The company picnic, where we'll all pretend to have fun.
• Wednesday: The weekly "Who's Turned 50" celebration for our oldest employee.
• Thursday: The "I'm-so-bored-I-might-as-well-do-nothing" day.