html Weekly Roundup: Thursday's Projections

Weekly Roundup: Thursday's Projections

Our team of expert seers has compiled this week's most pressing predictions:

80%: You Will Accidentally Super Glue Your Shoes Together

Don't say we didn't warn you.

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50%: The Coffee Machine Will Break

It's a ticking time bomb.

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10%: You Will Discover the Secret to Eternal Youth

Unlikely, but hey, you never know.

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