Weekly Roundup: Prophetic Projections & Pitfalls

Get ready for the most unpredictable, most bewildering, and most utterly confusing predictions in town!

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Prophetic Projections

This week in the Prophetic Projections department:

• The world will probably end in a blaze of glory, but only after we've all been forced to endure a 5-year-long series of awkward small talk gatherings.

• The price of avocado toast will drop to $0.50, but only if you buy it with a coupon and whisper 'I'm sorry.'

• The AI-powered toaster will finally be able to make a decent slice of toast.

Prophetic Pitfalls

Predictions vs. Reality: A Prophetic Analysis

Our team of expert prophets (yes, that's a thing) carefully examined the previous week's projections and here's what we found:

• 0% of our predictions came true (but that's because we made up most of them)

• 50% were hilariously incorrect (but still entertaining)

• 50% were suspiciously correct (but only because we cheated)

More Prophetic Pitfalls