You're reading this because you want to know the secrets behind our success. Well, let me tell you: it's all about meeting expectations.
We don't just sell products, we sell dreams. Dreams that you'll finally have the perfect lawn, the perfect spouse, the perfect abs. And when you don't meet those expectations, we have Expectations Anonymous.
Our team of experts will help you rewire your brain to accept anything less than perfect as, well, perfect.
But don't just take our word for it:
- 98% of our clients have met their expectations (and 2% are still in therapy)
- 99.9% of our products come with a 100% satisfaction guarantee (the 0.1% is for "unforeseen circumstances")