TERMS OF SERVICE: CONSEQUENCES
By using our services, you agree to the following:
- You will surrender all rights to your firstborn children.
- You will eat only our branded "Taste Bud" snacks, which are made of 100% recycled disappointment.
- You will participate in our weekly "Guess the Number of Pixels" game, where you have to guess the exact number of pixels on our website within 5 attempts.
- You will not use our services for any purpose other than making us richer.
- You will not attempt to escape the consequences of our Terms of Service, as our lawyers are always watching.
By continuing to use our services, you confirm that you have read, understand, and will comply with these Terms of Service. Failure to do so will result in:
- Your account will be suspended, and you will be forced to listen to our automated "Hold Music" on repeat for 72 hours.
- You will be redirected to a website filled with infinite loops of our CEO's speeches.
- You will be forced to watch a 10-hour video of our company's annual meeting, without a break.
Don't worry, it's not that bad. We promise.