A: Because we're not your mom, that's why.
Q: What do I get out of this?
A: A good laugh, and a strong sense of existential dread.
Q: How do I contact you with questions?
A: You can't. We have a strict no-email policy. Don't even.
Q: What are my rights under the law?
A: Ha! You think you have rights? Please. You're on a website with a Comic Sans font. You're already lost.
Q: Can I opt out of your Terms of Service?
A: Nope. You're stuck with us now. Like a bad marriage.
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