We've detected some issues with your system. Please wait while we attempt to fix them.

  1. We're experiencing a 50% packet loss on your connection.
  2. The CPU usage is at a whirring 99%.
  3. Our system is experiencing a severe case of the "Blue Screen of Death".

We're experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by while we reboot.

We're experiencing a temporary malfunction. Please try refreshing the page.

We're experiencing a catastrophic system failure. Please contact our technical support team.

We hope this helps.

Or maybe not.